The Place: Cafe Medici on Congress
The Hour: 9:00am
The Cup: Diana got to the coffee shop early so I can’t say for sure, but I do know it was iced (because I remember thinking, “why didn’t I think of that?”). I had an Americano with, you guessed it, a splash of cream and a pinch of sugar.

Background: So this one has an interesting back story. I went to an event put on my my 5th cup friend, Steve Harper called the 8 Minute Ripple™. The event is fantastic and I am recommending to anyone in Austin looking for a totally new way of networking. At the Ripple, I met a lovely girl named Linda Battson who said, upon hearing about my blog project, “Wow, I met a girl last month at this event who is doing something very similar. I need to connect the two of you!” And she did.

It turns out this coffee with a stranger thing isn’t the only thing Diana and I have in common, but more on that in a minute. First, I want to talk about how our projects compare.

The main commonality with our coffees, is the purpose. Diana, like me, is brand new to Austin (parallel #3, 1st is both attended the 8 Minute Ripple, 2nd is the coffee with strangers thing). So the two of us are motivated to meet as many people as possible to build a network in our new cities. Similarity #4 is that we are both in sales and in our worlds, you are only as strong as the network and reputation you build. Our second purpose for the coffees is an intense curiosity about people; what makes them tick, what their stories are, how they got where they are and what we can learn from them.

Diana got her idea from a woman she met soon after arriving in Austin. This chick is super plugged in and has an incredible network in Austin. Diana, curious about how she built this impressive web, decided to ask. What the woman told her was that she had made a commitment to have as many coffees (meetings) with people as she could in one year’s time. Two-thirds or so of the way into the year, she was already past 300, so she chose to push for 500 and achieved that. Diana loved the idea and decided it was the right approach for her as well. How’s she doing so far? Just shy of four months in she is well on her way having logged at least 130 cups/meetings so far. Let that sink in for a second. Amazing right!

A few things make our projects different. The primary difference being I am not nearly as ambitious as Diana. I’m on cup #9. But where mine is more of a deliberate interview process, Diana’s meetings are not as narrowly focused. Basically, she is pushing herself to meet as many people as possible and keeping a spreadsheet of the names and locations of the meetings. Her list includes people she meets with for work, some she talks with over the phone, etc. And, aside from some notes she takes for herself, she isn’t writing about her experiences (yet). So you get an idea of the differences. I’ll take you back to that spreadsheet in a second so I can tell you probably the craziest similarity of all.

As you know, I came to Austin via the illustrious and exotic city of Houston. About 160 miles. Diana arrived in Austin having lived the last eight years in London (oh, and she taught English in Japan as well). Nearly 5000 miles. So while my journey involved loading up a moving truck, a leisurely three hour drive including a pleasant pit stop at Buc-ees known for their clean potties and extravagant coffee bar and arrival in my new city later in the day, Diana’s was a bit more involved and need I say, adventurous.

Are you wondering how she ended up in London? How about if I told you she grew up in Pennsylvania and after graduating from college was offered a job with Mellon Financial. Now are you curious? Well I was, so I asked.

Turns out it’s the 5th thing we have on common. A term that I had never heard, but related to immediately – an existential itch. Diana simply needed to move to London. She had a desire deep within her and felt pulled to move there, without really knowing why. So she asked the folks at Mellon Financial and they weren’t keen on sponsoring her. What about if she found her own sponsor, could she go then? Maybe. If you haven’t figured it out already, this girl is nothing if not driven and she made it to London.

Ready for similarity 6? Just weeks after arriving in her new city, she met the man she is now blissfully married to. Weeks after arriving in Texas from North Dakota for my college internship, I met the guy I’m now blissfully married to. Incidentally, #7, her husband is Dave and so is mine. Well, not the same Dave of course.

My existential itch involves getting in an Airstream and driving all across the country for a year. I have no clue how or when, but I know in my heart it will happen. (Feel free to contact me if you have any ideas).

So, once in London it turns out things weren’t all kittens and cupcakes. More like raindrops and tyranny actually. She ended up in a job that was absolute misery, particularly because her boss was, as Diana describes it, psychologically abusive. He seemed to live to make her miserable. And for a long time it worked. Diana tells me as she recounts this dark time, “I knew he wanted me to quit and I’m not a quitter. So I stayed.” For years. This abuse took its toll on her so much so that she ended up breaking down and having to take about 6 months leave to recover.

She describes for me the darkest period of her life which was, in hindsight, the result of about 30 horrible events that occured in the span of a year. Once she finally went to a doctor, they gave her a depression test and she scored 23/25 markers for depression. She cried every day. We didn’t spend a lot of time on the subject and didn’t get into details, but I could see in her eyes the memories were fresh and stung.

I told Diana about my coffee with Kurt (#4) and that he told me he takes one day at a time. She agreed it’s the same for her. She went through therapy but probably the most impactful change was the result of work she did on her own. She tells me that with depression, the brain actually changes. She decided to take back control and did so by poring over every positive psychology author’s works she could find. Brian Tracey, Dale Carnegie, Zig Zigler, and so on. She worked to replace all her negative thoughts with positive alternatives. This is something she still works on. And helps others do as well.

When she was still in London, she decided she wanted to work for Dale Carnegie. Remember that drive I talked about? Then you aren’t surprised to know she works for Dale Carnegie in Austin today. It’s a dream for her. And something she not only loves and is passionate about, but something she is fantastic at. She tells me a story she shared as her opening remarks during one of her courses. Regarding the job she was miserable in, “I told the people in my class that every day I hoped I’d get hit by a bus. Not that I’d be killed, but just that I’d be hurt enough to not have to go to work. That’s how unhappy I was.” And it’s that level of intimate honesty that makes her someone people can trust, open up to and learn from.

Diana admits here were some great times in London and for the most part, her experience was positive. She came away from it with an incredible husband who stood by her every second, and a whole slew of life lessons. Perhaps the biggest lesson was realizing just how strong and capable she was and that quitting is OK. She wouldn’t wish her experience upon anyone and although it does not define her, it was a defining moment.

It is in these moments that we have a choice. Feel sorry for myself or choose a new path. I can say I am selfishly delighted that Diana’s path led her to Austin. And ready for that crazy connection I mentioned from that spreadsheet she keeps? Diana had an address listed as a location for two of her meetings. I asked her about it and she says, “Oh, those are two new neighbors I was meeting with. That’s my address.” Guess what, it’s mine as well. So lucky me, I have a very cool new friend and neighbor.

To learn more about Diana, check her our here: About Diana