The Place: Dominican Joe’s on Riverside
The Hour: 9:00 am
The Cup: Half caff, black for Jodie. Pure caff, sweet and pale brown for yours truly.
Background: I’ve got the sensational Diana Lowe to thank for this particular coffee. Diana introduced Jodie and I via Twitter (so hip and cool, right).
The trouble is, merely having a Twitter account doesn’t make one hip and cool. You need to actually understand and use it to not be a total dork. About a week after Diana made the Twitter intro I noticed it and after figuring out how to properly communicate with the mysterious social media tool, I successfully managed to get the meeting set up. Phew! It’s safe to say, I am a dork in transition. No where near cool, but less dorky than ever.
Jodie is quite cool. Not just because she can effectively use (dominate) Twitter. She just has an air of coolness. Not cold, mind you, just laid back chill. The kind of calm that generally causes everyone around to breathe deep and settle down. The kind of cool you want sitting next to you on an airplane, particularly if you are sitting close to crying babies. Or the kind of cool you want flowing from your yoga teacher, no matter what kind of day she’s had. You know the cool I’m talking about. Jodie’s got it. I’m not sure what was up with me, but I was kinda the opposite of cool. I’d like to blame it on the full caff coffee, but I’m not sure if that’d be fair. Luckily for me, Jodie maintained enough cool for both of us and she balanced my frenzy nicely. Eventually I settled down.
So where does this calm come from? Practice. Jodie developed a twice daily meditation practice a few years back and attributes much of her success and serenity to this ritual. She also incorporates yoga, Ayurveda and healthy eating into her life and wow, it shows. She is one of those people who glows. One of my favorite compliments someone once gave me was that when I walk into a room, I light it up like a ray of sunshine. {Aww, sweet, right?} The same can be said for Jodie. But where as I am like, Bam! Sunshine fools – wake up! Jodie is like that radiant warmth you feel wash over you when you sit in a chair on the beach. Notice the difference?
Jodie strikes me as someone who’s got it all figured out. So I am relieved when she tells me about a spiritual journey (my words, not hers) that she’s on and I learn she’s still seeking too. We come to this in response to a question I ask about this happiest time in her life. Her face lights up and she gets an extra sparkle in her eye and says, “Actually, it was this past weekend.” Wow, I can’t wait to hear this. Turns out, Jodie has a spiritual mentor she’s been working with. This woman has a guide and he was in town from Palestine last weekend. Jodie had met with him on a previous occasion and found the meeting lackluster. Not bad, just not stellar. This time, she thought a lot about what she would ask and prepared her perfect question in advance. To her amazement, the answer came not so much in the words he spoke, but in the way she felt. She tells me when he looked at her, his heart was so huge; love poured from his eyes and when he told her she simply needed to open her heart, her questions melted away.
Jodie had wondered in her search of a deeper spiritual connection if it would be enough to feed her or would she be left hungry for the world. Jodie struggles with something I think we all struggle with these days. Distractions. Smart phones that make our lives easier and vastly more complicated all at the same time. Pressure to be responsive no matter what time of day it is. Multiple channels of staying connected to people who matter while also connecting us with countless others who matter less. It’s energizing and it’s draining. And for Jodie, she worried what she’d be without these “distractions” and wondered if she’d be able to let go.
The way she described this spiritual encounter was that she felt the answer versus found the answer. Something in her changed. She knew the shift was real when she went to lunch with some friends and instead of contributing to the gossipy banter occurring around her, she found herself suggesting that the person being discussed was in fact a decent human being. Here’s the kicker, she didn’t consciously do this. The words just came out of her and she meant them.
While Jodie and I obviously covered some personal ground during our two hour coffee, we didn’t spend a whole lot of time talking about her husband but I did learn a couple interesting details. First, he’s intensely frugal and he recently made a purchase from Sky Mall. I realize these two statements don’t seem to jive but as the story unfolds, it turns out they do. The item purchased was a Porch Potty. They live in a condo with their two dogs. Jodie has recently taken a new job and her new commute is going to be longer therefore the dogs are going to need a mid-day reprieve. So, this nifty little dog potty unit will be located just through the doggie door on their patio. So, how’s that frugal, you ask? Other than the obvious money they’d save on ruined rugs? Well, Jodie was thinking about hiring someone to come walk the dogs mid-day and this porch potty contraption is more cost-effective over the long haul. Man, this guy is a thinker!
I love hearing the interesting ways people meet. By interesting I mean something other than “we met in a bar”. Chapter 1 of this love story was a first for me. Jodie and her beau met playing The Transformation Game. Check it out if you want a more official description, but basically its a board game where you go on a spiritual journey. Players often come away from it with insights and clarification about real issues in their lives, and for Jodie at least, sometimes you find love.
What else do I know about Mr. Jodie? Well, here’s a surprise. To the question, “What’s your best mistake?” Jodie, after thoughtful consideration names her marriage. Gotta say, I wasn’t exactly expecting that. Although the funny thing is, when I think about it now, I’ve gotten that answer from two other people and the explanations I get are always a little different. I think the key is the word “best” before mistake. In Jodie’s case, it boils down to a matter of differences. I know what she’s talking about immediately. Jodie explains that she and her husband are incredibly different. Over their five years of marriage there have been times when this has been OK and other times when it’s been a problem. “But,” she says with a little grin on her face, “through it all we persevere”.
This marriage of differences is something very familiar to me. And I agree with Jodie – at times, this has been a source of frustration. For my husband and I, its our glaring difference in need for activity. I like going and doing. Exploring and trying new things. Meeting new people and the thrill of a new adventure. Dave enjoys solitary activities. He unwinds by playing a game on his computer or reading. His thirst for knowledge is quenched by research. Mine, by experience. He appreciates knowing, in advance, what’s on the agenda and has been known to get a little annoyed when I suggest, “Oh, while we’re out, let’s do such and such.”
Jodie points out that there is wisdom in this pairing of opposites. She says her husband grounds her and that she helps him think about things he wouldn’t normally think about. I couldn’t agree more. For as much as I wish we were more alike, I know, without a doubt, if I were married to me I’d drive myself bonkers. So it’s that yin and yang thing, I suppose. Wikipedia offers this:
Yin and yang are not opposing forces (dualities), but complementary forces, unseen (hidden, feminine) and seen (manifest, masculine), that interact to form a greater whole, as part of a dynamic system.
We are all dynamic being seeking balance. Jodie finds hers in meditation. Me, I’m still seeking. But even though I’m no where near balanced, I’m less chaotic than I was this morning. Progress, my friends. That’s called progress.
Want to learn more about Jodie? Check out her LinkedIn page or follow her on Twitter.